I'm not sure if it's just how it goes from time to time or if it's just the eventual ware that home school is bound to show on you but things with our little autistic bundle of joy have been....less than rosie this last week! With Jayden we have good days & bad days. Good days where he is on point, ready to learn, inquisitive, & at the top of his game. Bad days are days where he should maybe come with a black label warning: "The Surgeon General Warns: Bad Autism Days may cause a parents premature death, premature gray hair, & an over all wish to jump in front of a mack truck" Now that may sound harsh but man this week was hard! Stemming, no memory or ability to retain any information, the attention span of a moss covered rock, & crying at the drop of a hat. Emotions are all over the place, non existent, or ass backwards! Tonight as I sat by the bath tub washing him I couldn't help but wonder if I will be sitting in that same place in 5 years. Will he ever be able to remember or have the care to wash himself, pick out his own cloths instead of accidentally squeezing into his 4 year old brothers clothes that he happened to find first, or will he ever be able to just be a some what self sufficient adult. Don't get me wrong, I'm sick & over protective enough that I'll be okay if he needs to live with us forever but that doesn't mean I have to be happy about it does it?
I know this seems like a pitty party for dad kind of blog & it is a little bit but I've come to a realization. A secret for parents of autistic kids...come close....are you listening....This shit is hard man! & sometimes it sucks! But hey, what the heck do I know about it? You're reading a blog from a guy who cleaned kids rooms & gave a 9 year old a bath dressed like a the whitest, most Jewish, gangsta rapper on the face of the planet.